kitten__noir (diekatze1) wrote in artificialjoy,

So I feel like my life is pointless. It's just getting to the point where I don't even want to get out of bed. But yet, every morning I do. Maybe it doesn't help that I get out much?

Maybe it's because I don't really have friends? Maybe it's my so called "boyfriend" who is dragging me down? (I have a feeling that it is) Most days I just want to curl up in my bed all day and just sob and sob and sob.

I feel like my parents don't care. I've been asking my mom for years and years to get me to see a psychologist or something. But I DON'T want to take meds, because then i'd never be able to fly an airplane.

I just wanna feel right again, even though life is pretty much pointless as of now. I feel like i'll never get out of community college, i'll never even get a fucking driver's license or pilot's license, i'll never move out, no one will ever want me in a relationship.

One word to sum this post up: Worthless.

And on top of everything else, i've REALLY been wanting to start cutting again, and it's driving me mad, because I know I'm too much of a pussy to do it.
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